Talk about the visit a day or two ahead in simple, positive words, keep the details light, and avoid scary words, bribes and promises that nothing will hurt. Your calm matters more than anything you say, because children take their cues from you. Dentists who see children often use an approach called tell-show-do, and whether you stay in the room is something you and the dentist decide together for your child.
What should you say before the visit?
Keep it short and matter-of-fact. "The dentist is going to count your teeth and make sure they're healthy" is enough for a young child.
Use neutral words. Skip "shot", "drill", "pull" and "hurt". Let the dental team explain things in their own words, which they choose for children.
Don't promise it won't hurt. If something is uncomfortable, a broken promise makes the next visit harder.
Keep your own bad experiences to yourself. Children pick up on fear quickly.
Avoid bribes. Offering a reward for being brave suggests there's something to be brave about. Praise afterward works better.
How can you make the day go smoothly?
Book a time when your child is usually rested and fed, often the morning for young children.
Read a picture book about going to the dentist, or play dentist at home by counting each other's teeth with a toothbrush.
Bring a favorite toy or comfort item.
Arrive a few minutes early so nobody feels rushed.
Tell the office ahead of time about any medical conditions, sensory sensitivities or past difficult visits.
What is tell-show-do?
Tell-show-do is one of the basic techniques the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry describes for guiding children's behavior. The dentist first tells the child what will happen in words they understand, then shows them, for example by letting them feel the toothbrush on a finger or see the mirror, and only then does it. It takes the surprise out of each step and helps children feel more in control. Praise, a calm voice and simple distraction usually go along with it.
Should you stay in the room?
It depends on the child. AAPD guidance notes that a parent's presence can be very helpful for some children and unhelpful for others, and it leaves the decision to the dentist working with the parent. Many young children do better with a parent nearby. Some older children cooperate more easily when the parent waits outside.
If you stay, the most helpful role is a quiet one. Sit where your child can see you, keep your voice calm, and let the dentist lead the conversation so your child isn't trying to listen to two adults at once.
What if your child is very anxious or needs a lot of treatment?
Most children do well with preparation, patience and tell-show-do. For children who are very young, very anxious or need a lot of treatment, dentists who focus on children have other options. These are discussed with parents in advance, and you should understand and agree to any approach before it's used. A pediatric dentist can explain which options fit your child.
What should you do after the visit?
Praise your child for specific things they did, such as opening wide or sitting still. Keep the tone ordinary, and talk about the next visit as a normal part of looking after their teeth.
Where can parents get help in Jacksonville?
Our office is at 3675 Hendricks Avenue, near San Marco. For guidance on the first visit by age one and early tooth decay, read our parent's guide to early childhood dental problems. To ask whether a visit with us fits your child's age and needs, contact the office at 904-398-1549. You can also find a pediatric dentist through the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.
Sources
American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. Behavior guidance for the pediatric dental patient. Reference Manual of Pediatric Dentistry, revised 2024. Retrieved 2026-10-06.
About the author. CJ Henley, DMD, is a general dentist in Jacksonville whose practice focuses on cosmetic and restorative dentistry, dental implants and dental care around head and neck cancer. Meet Dr. Henley.
CJ Henley, DMD, PA · 3675 Hendricks Avenue, Jacksonville, FL 32207 · 904-398-1549
Updated October 2026.